Diabolik Lovers, and canon plot based panfandom RP.
Raven
Owner
Eri
Admin
Ogo
Admin
STAFFER NAME
POSITION
Little updates
Karl Heinz and his wives, and Richter are not available for application by the gen public. They will be written by admins or admin upon request. Any and all outside of the boys will be up for interaction for personal plot advancement upon request.
[attr="class","textieno"]“For your information, that is because I don’t flaunt at all.” Despite him caring less about having the identity of being a vampire exposed, Ruki is nowhere in much fear since he knows how to take care of major situations. One thing he doesn’t care about, is the judgment.[break][break]
“Yes, but they’re not in fear so whether they are or aren’t open, they know how to get out of risky situations, instantly. Dhampirs might have that as well, but do you know how to get yourself away from death?”[break][break]
When will the conversation die, who knows? Honestly, it’s possible that it may go nowhere, seeing that he’s not going to back down and neither will she. A lioness and a bull headbutting each other like crazy because one of them will not agree with the other for multiple reasons. This makes thing very difficult to the point that it’s practically neverending. It’s a wonder that there hasn’t been a dead end with their argument, yet. Where both have to pause, awkwardly.[break][break]
"...I wasn't really planned, for one. But they decided to keep me, and through my life, they've provided for me, protected me, and cared for me as best they could. Our situation might not have been ideal, but it made me who I am today, and I wouldn't change that for the world."[break][break]
“Did it come to your mind that they probably did so, aside from just raising you as parents, but also because they knew that exposure was at the risk? You probably ended up learning how to defend yourself, in case such an occasion was to happen.” This is ridiculous, but still he doesn’t understand, “And if this so happens to be in your case, backfiring on you. What would be your actions, then? Would it all be worth something in the end, despite you possibly having to be in the shadows for the rest of your life?”
For a moment, a shot of pride hit Jen - it was good to get at least a slight boost here - and her expression curled into something just hinting at a smirk, "Of course I do. You don't seriously think they'd have let me go without some method of self-defense?"
She let out a huff, "Even if I wasn't a dhampir, a woman should know martial arts to defend herself anyway."
Jen knew she was dealing with one stubborn S.O.B., but she hadn't really anticipated that this - of all things - was how the night would turn about. God damn, it's a good thing she brought comfortable shoes, because otherwise her feet would have been aching more and souring her mood further. That didn't mean she intended to concede ground, however.
The shadows. It was true - in a way, she did rather hide in plain sight, disguising the truth of her identity in order to save her ass as well as protect her family. She didn't necessarily like it; her mother had often gone off about how much easier life would be if she could openly be a vampire without fear of humans coming for her head. Jen's father had lamented the veil of secrecy that kept both sides wary and distrustful of the other.
"It's not just about them or me," though her temper was cooling steadily - being that she was in a position where she needed to think about her answers - she still remained steadfast, "they figured any small step that could be taken to bridge the gap between the living and the so-called undead, was a net gain. In a way, I'd even say I agree with them; I'll live in the shadows, as you say, for now, if it means that one day, others like me won't have to."
[attr="class","textieno"]What was there to expect, tonight? It’s like Ruki should’ve known that an argument was to ensure. He should’ve rejected the invitation, and continued whatever else he had to do at the manor and take his rest. That way, he could’ve avoided this and move on to something else. Seriously though, he’s not the one who decided to dig more into the deeper subjects that one can find too much for their own being. He only figured out one “deep” subject about Jen. Just one and he didn’t even ask and ask frequently, she was giving out hints left and right.[break][break]
Jen on the other hand...how many times?[break][break]
"they figured any small step that could be taken to bridge the gap between the living and the so-called undead, was a net gain. In a way, I'd even say I agree with them; I'll live in the shadows, as you say, for now, if it means that one day, others like me won't have to."[break][break]
As much as it surprised him that she’s strong-willed to keep going, expecting much of the positive, Ruki still couldn’t manage to process that because he’s unable to comprehend any of this.[break][break]
“You speak as if it’s guaranteed to happen. Surely, you can’t simply forget about the possibly of it not to happen. What then? You’ll still believe that’s very much possible, and continue to do so, long enough to where others like you have given up on the idea?”
Jen's initial response was a deep sigh; she crossed her arms, her weight shifting to the other leg, "I'd be an idiot if I hadn't considered that possibility," for one of the first times since this confrontation started, she glanced off in another direction rather than staring him down; this was primarily to gather her thoughts, as she slowly turned back to meet his gaze as she spoke again, "but you know, I think I inherited a certain unshakable determination from my dad - even against the odds, we'd rather try and fail, than never try at all."
The dhampir shrugged, though this gesture was done with anything except nonchalance, "We'll even do it if we have to stand alone."
[attr="class","textieno"]He grew unsure whether somehow comprehend that (yet he still can’t) or find that rather pathetic. How can she be that positive about this? Why would anyone rather go through it, knowing that something bad can possibly happen? It is really worth all that sort of trouble, in the end? All that time could’ve been spent on something else, and probably it being better in addition, but still choosing to go through Hell? No chance, no way.[break][break]
Here she goes again with the “alone” part. The word almost nearly struck Ruki, it made him almost sick to the stomach. She said it so easily, like it’s no problem. How can she? It’s not that simple at all, it never was. Honestly, it may never will be. Yet, she makes it seem like it is.[break][break]
Ruki’s voice lowered, “Do you even know what it’s like on having to stand alone? To even be alone?” He had to look away from her, asking that question. She doesn’t know, no, she doesn’t know at all. There’s no way she could acknowledge it. That’s why she’s saying it like it’s nothing. How dare she even speak it that way in front of him?[break][break]
Jen held eye contact with him when he said this, and although she'd heard when his voice dropped to that frigid, forbidding tone, there was something different lurking this time; it nearly chilled her to the bone, but she persevered. Another glance away to collect herself, a nip at the inside of her lip, "In a broad, sweeping sense? No, not particularly. I'll be the first to admit that aside from my race, or my species, I've had a pretty good life; got to see several corners of my home country, family that loves me more than anything, friends and lovers and everything in between. In that sense, no, I'm not alone."
"But on the other hand," her gaze slid rather sidelong back at Ruki, for but a second, just long enough to meet his eyes once more, "if you wanted to get philosophical about it, each of us is alone in some way because no one person will ever know and relate to all of our exact struggles."
Jen sighed again, but more in a contemplative way than an exasperated one, "For some people, that knowledge is unbearable, they choose not to think about it. Brings them down, makes them feel hopeless, causes them to despair. I decided I didn't want to live that way."
The tan tomboy swiveled her upper body just so, in order to lock their gazes again, "And you?"
[attr="class","textieno"]Before he could say to her to quit acting like she does know, she continued on with the explanation. She made eye contact with him once more, which made him result into turning his face away from her, again.[break][break]
“each of us is alone in some way because no one person will ever know and relate to all of our exact struggles."[break][break]
That’s right, no one will never know and relate. Meaning she won’t ever know about the struggles, because she, herself has never been in that state.[break][break]
"For some people, that knowledge is unbearable, they choose not to think about it. Brings them down, makes them feel hopeless, causes them to despair. I decided I didn't want to live that way."[break][break]
She’s one to know that.[break][break]
“And do you know why they have to suffer through that?” He shot a glare at her, “They all choose the path of despair because they weren’t the first to turn on others. Everyone turned away from them primarily, leaving them all to go through the struggles. Letting them fall into their own pits of Hell because that’s what it truly is.” Hitting this sort of subject nearly made it feel like something was stabbing Ruki. He knows what it’s like, he’s experienced it before and it resulted him for who he is.[break][break]
He looks away from her, again. “That’s why not one or any person can relate to another’s struggle. They’ll never experience in their lives and yet, they still mistake it anyway as similar to their own. It is preposterous.”[break][break]
"And you?"[break][break]
There’s the eye locking, one more time. “What about me?” No, he’s not going to. This is enough, what more does she want from him?want from him?
The more Jen listened to Ruki, the more she got a certain sense that there was more to this than he was letting in on; more than that, she'd be lying if she said she didn't feel some kind of sympathy for the vampire.
"It's why I try not to turn my back on people when they're in need, if I feel that I can help them somehow."
She pondered on the way he appeared to interpret her philosophy on loneliness, and yet despite his pessimistic musing, Jen couldn't help a vague half-smile, a tiny glimmer of hope, from showing itself on her face, "But not knowing another's exact struggles, doesn't mean that one can't have had similar or relatable experiences. It's what keeps society cohesive, are those similarities. It's what our voluntary relationships are built on, romantic or platonic... sometimes familial, in certain cases."
“What about me?”
The dhampir very nearly answered this question in kind with the inquiry that had led up to it, but then she noted his demeanor, his tone. There was a certain sadness, a melancholy; she held eye contact for a moment longer, in contemplative silence broken only by a gentle breeze. Then, her voice softened to a tone that was nothing like the aggressive one she displayed not long ago, "Ruki... this is, honestly, the most passionate I've seen you get about... almost anything, really. I don't think it's me that you're so angry with, is it?"
Jen sighed yet again, now directly facing her ostensibly odd choice of companion, "All of that, that you just said... that happened to you, didn't it? I don't claim to know what it is, and you don't have to tell me. I just want to know if I'm correct."
[attr="class","textieno"]"But not knowing another's exact struggles, doesn't mean that one can't have had similar or relatable experiences. It's what keeps society cohesive, are those similarities. It's what our voluntary relationships are built on, romantic or platonic... sometimes familial, in certain cases."[break][break]
The fact that she’s right about that, it’s almost destroying him. She’s not supposed to be correct about this, or know anything about this. She doesn’t know, she’s not supposed to know. But she does and he knows it as well, which is why it’s practically eating him from the inside.[break][break]
Why on earth, no, how is she managing to hit the weak points on him? That’s not right, this isn’t what he aimed for. He’s been trying to silence her, but it only made her stand her ground. It resulted her having the correct answers. How could he, the one who always stayed superior at moments like these, not one managing to hit him so deeply, but yet he can manage to restrain himself from attacking, let all of this happen?[break][break]
She’s figuring him out, now. Damn it, that wasn’t supposed to happen either. He’s been trying to prevent her from knowing anything personal about himself since day one. Unfortunately, it has failed. He failed to stop her from figuring it out. And the fact that there’s still eye contact with one another…[break][break]
Quit staring at me like that.[break][break]
“Listen to me and listen to me well, I do not want your sympathy.” With that, he knew he affirmed it. It wasn’t intentional, nor planned. He couldn’t manage to make his way around it. He can’t back down like this. Turning his whole body away from Jen, he had to make his choice, right here. Leave or don’t...[break][break]
“Just forget about it. I have already found what I want.”
Her brow furrowed minutely, to form a look of concern, "...fair enough. I can honor that request."
Jen wasn't prepared for him to completely turn heel, to suddenly switch modes, to be ready to walk off without another word; maybe not so much in and of itself, but the fact that he was preparing to do this without any trace of anger that wasn't drowned out by melancholy. She wasn't sure what came over her in that moment, but she couldn't bring herself to let him leave, not yet, not like this.
"Wait," she hung her head for a second, her lips pursing, then she took a deep breath, "I know it's almost dawn, and we both should get home... but before you leave," her eyes cast slightly downward again, then back to him, "I wanted to say thank you for coming here to talk with me, even if we got off to a rough start."
[attr="class","textieno"]She says it so simple, just how?! How can she do it like that and how come he’s unable to understand it? In fact, why can’t he understand it all?[break][break]
He’s ready to leave, the path is right there in front of him. Just take his steps and get on out of here before things get any more worse, any more...painful. Don’t stop, just move and don’t let her stop…[break][break]
"Wait,"[break][break]
Too late. Now what does she want, this time? What other questions does she want to ask him that’s very personal? She’s the master at asking these questions and right now, he’s not in the greatest mood for them. Why won’t she leave him alone?[break][break]
"I wanted to say thank you for coming here to talk with me, even if we got off to a rough start."[break][break]
She’s thanking him?! Just like back at the lounge. With all that uproaring about? What’s there to thanking him about?! Hell, Ruki wasn’t even sure to consider this one of his worst his nights. She became a complete challenge for him and she managed to hit him at a certain spot that he would never let anyone find.[break][break]
He couldn’t bring himself to look at her again, but for some reason, his mind wouldn’t let him leave automatically. It suddenly pops into his mind that he has to.[break][break]
“Why?” This wasn’t a question for her thanking him but, “Why do you want to come near me, when all I’ve done is try and push you away?Yet, you still keep coming around, wanting to know more about me?”
“Why do you want to come near me, when all I’ve done is try and push you away. Yet, you still keep coming around, wanting to know more about me?”
Jen stared at him, even though he couldn't see her, refused to face her. She shuffled her feet just once, brushed a lock of hair out of her face, and answered, "Because... every time we meet, and talk like this, I walk away with a new perspective, you always offer me something I need to mull over later. I know that I seem like I'm some brainless slut, but when I remarked on your intelligence... I meant it. Very few people engage me the way you do, no matter how annoyed or dismissive you act toward me."
"The fact is, I literally can't get bored with conversing with you, Ruki. I hope you can say the same of me."
With that, she decided it was better to let him go on his way, "Good night. I'll see you at school, I guess."
[attr="class","textieno"]"Because... every time we meet, and talk like this, I walk away with a new perspective, you always offer me something I need to mull over later. I know that I seem like I'm some brainless slut, but when I remarked on your intelligence... I meant it. Very few people engage me the way you do, no matter how annoyed or dismissive you act toward me."[break][break]
Stop...[break][break]
"The fact is, I literally can't get bored with conversing with you, Ruki. I hope you can say the same of me."[break][break]
He couldn’t speak with that. He’s unable to. Literally, she’s unable to get bored from him. With all the rest of her explanation, her answer to support it. It struck him, deeply.[break][break]
She bid him good night, and he couldn’t move. Not after what she said. Why did he stop to hear her say that? Because he asked for a reason, he brought that on himself. But he wanted to know why did she always wanted to be near him, despite him trying to dismiss her.[break][break]
He knew, with many others that have encountered with him that they all got intimidated by him. But Jen...she didn’t. She stayed, strong-willed, that a conversation between them will get better. Admittedly, it did. All these conversations he had with her, were intriguing. That’s something that he rarely ever gets from anyone. She wasn’t even bored of him.[break][break]
Could he keep pushing her away any further, now? If he continues, would it be good riddance? Or, would it be his biggest mistake because she’s the only person who’s ever stayed so positive around him because she knew there’s something more about him?[break][break]
Damn it. I can’t…[break][break]
He knew he’s going to think for the longest time about this. It’s going to kill him, there’s no doubt about it and for some reason, he couldn’t hate Jen for it. She really was a good challenge against him.
